today I am thankful for
a quick wit
rain on my face
a quick wit
rain on my face
Recently I had a health diagnosis that I wasn’t expecting. It was revealing, and a much needed explanation for what I’ve been experiencing, but it opened up a well that was long buried. Realizing what I was dealing with, swung into play a deep mourning over lost opportunities to make a difference in my life and the lives of others. I don’t consider myself an angry person, but I found anger buried when I dug deep enough. Anger at myself for my perceived shortcomings, and anger towards my birth parent for his abuse and abandonment. I don’t want to live in that space, but I needed to take a moment to visit. I had to have a cup of tea with grief, to sort out the bits of what has shaped me. In the battle we all fight of being enough, doing enough, having enough etc, I realized that we are ALWAYS enough. I know that’s cliche, but we really are enough just by being who we were created to be. I know deep in my roots, that we must focus on the simplistic and let the rest go. Just because I can’t directly see the effects I have on others, doesn’t mean that change isn’t germinating in the very souls of those around me, because of my actions, words or thoughts. The depths of which we affect others is boundless. We are all rich. Rich with the kindess of a stranger, rich as we are caught watching Spring creep back in after a long winter. Rich with the hands that life has dealt us, or rich with the simple act of receiving a smile or passing one on. We all have something to give, and we all must practice the art of receiving. Let it flow. Forgive. I am free.
Today I am thankful for -
things that grow in the ground
raw caramel sauce
clouds on the mountains
I believe there is art in all of us. We all possess limitless capacity to create. No matter what our mediums, each of us are most certainly blessed with the right and left sides of the brain, and the capacity to utilize them equally. Some people are said to be ‘left-brain dominant’, meaning they are more analytical, while the ‘right-brain dominant’ folks are more creative. It’s my belief that this is a myth. Being creative doesn’t mean that you necessarily know how to paint, or play an instrument. Creativity can flow in the form of words on a page, expression of dance or even your relationships. My boyfriend is extremely analytical and fact-based in his communication, but if you ever get the opportunity to watch him hunt, ski or create something with his hands, you’d be hard pressed to argue that he’s not an artist. Every moment of his life he is creating art, in the systematic, mindful way he does things. It’s in each of us. I’ve heard plenty of people say that they ‘just aren’t creative’. Directly after this comment, I’ve witnessed them bake a spectacular cake, perfectly train an animal or have a creative conversation that leaves me in awe. It’s a travesty that we can’t all embrace and nurture our creative differences and expressions as they blossom.
“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” – Maya Angelou
One awesome example that I recently started considering is relationship as art. Whether this is romantic, interspecies, with ourselves or any other form of relationship, there is room to create splendid works of art from within the interaction. We all know people who seem to have fluid connection to the world around them. It’s not hard to identify someone who has achieved inner peace. That sort of kinship doesn’t happen by chance. Whether or not the person in this sort of alliance realizes it, this is pure and pleasant relational art at it’s best. Sincere and complete, this is what we all must strive for, removing the drama and indulging in a vibrant, heightened form of being.
Just like any other creative undertaking, artful relationship creation is like a muscle. The more we define and practice it, the better we become at it, and the easier it becomes to be GOOD at it! When I first started playing the fiddle, a random hiker mistook the sound for a dying animal. Over time, with much effort, I began to be able to play songs by ear. People can actually be in the same room as me while I play! Yes! Building healthy and symbiotic relationships is exactly the same thing. When you make the time to learn how to recognize what a healthy relationship looks like to you, and educate yourself on how to correctly propagate these relationships, you’ll notice them blossoming everywhere in your garden of alliances.
Let me be clear and state that this is not about control. I’ve been wrestling with the concept of control and why everyone seems to obsess over it for a good chunk of my life. ‘WHY do I insist on having such control of everything? I want more flow! Aahhhh!’ Most of us have trouble controlling every detail of our own beings without having the added task of trying to control everything else in our lives. Relationships can’t be controlled to the degree we wish, or they ultimately would become empty and provide us with nothing of value. The first step to creating artful relationship, is to let go of the control.
The next step is to ask questions, valuable questions that cause us to think. What does this relationship mean to me? How can I create the most value for everyone involved? What does a win-win relationship look like? What am I grateful for in this relationship? Is this relationship healthy or significant?
The third step is to act out of love, always love. Opportunity abounds for each of us to relate to others. Since this is the case, we must focus on coming from a place of love instead of fear, and quality instead of quantity concerning the interactions in our lives. Sometimes acting out of love means letting go. We can outgrow relationships, hold on to the unhealthy ones and stay stuck in our expectations of how something must look for us to be happy. None of these actions are healthy. As our maturity levels grow, and we build our ‘relationship muscles’, we will notice that a potent shift in our affiliations will occur.
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
It’s taken me almost 30 years to stretch my ‘awareness muscle’. I’ve made a ton of mistakes in relationships of every sort, especially my relationship with myself. I’ve spent countless hours beating myself up for poor choices I made in relationships. I’ve hurt others and myself greatly from my immaturity and dependency. For much of that time, I didn’t know what I wanted, needed or how to act in a way that would help build the quality of relationship I desperately needed in my existence. I didn’t know how to love myself or what it took to let go of control and expectation. I’m just not realizing that relationships are similar to any of my other creations, the more I live in my authenticity and love, the better the outcome will taste. I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve made a commitment in 2014 to make art of my relationships. I can never fully know someone the way I might think is necessary, but I choose love. Love is better. ❤
Today is a day that I must count my blessings. Every day is a day for this. Today I give thanks for -
I hold a belief that none of us living and breathing have room to complain. To grumble about what life has handed us, is truly atrocious. It means we give away our power. One of my NY resolutions was to erase any complaining in my life. When we complain we are saying, ‘I’m ungrateful for my life path. I do not accept or support myself as I am in the circumstances that I’m given.’ Gratitude is healthy! Emotionally, physically, mentally…you name it! Practicing gratitude is a gift you give yourself.
We ALL can find things to be grateful for. Every single day! Simply the fact that we are living and breathing means that we still have purposeful work left to do on this earth. We may not know it, but this is the truth as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow.
You’re perfect just the way you are!
fires that crackle
Oooohhhh the deliciousness! We wild-crafted these on a hike today. Simple and tasty!
I rinsed them quickly, then steamed them in a cast iron skillet with a wee bit of vegan butter, garlic and love! ❦
Chanterelles are easily identifiable and grow wild in many places. They are simple to cook and absorb the flavor of almost anything you desire to cook them with. Even though mushrooms don’t keep well for long term travel, once you learn to identify a few different kinds, they can be a welcome addition to any on-the-go meal. I eat a ton of them on the road, both purchased and wild-crafted. Be certain you can identify the mushrooms you pick before you eat anything out of the earth…or feed them to your friends!
Waaa–laaa!! Finally! I’ve sloshed about in the sea that is WordPress and have finagled an acceptable platform for sharing my travels and thoughts and e-confabulation with y’all! Hooray! Ima give myself a pat on the back and eat chocolate shamelessly for a few hours…or until it’s gone.
I woke up this morning doubting that today would be the pre-unvailing of my blogess-ness. I didn’t think I’d get this thing going today, since the day started out a bit on the rough side…Post late-night drive home from chillin’ with the MilkDrive boys (check check check em out! Jazzgrass at it’s finest), in which I ran over some large boards looming out of the darkness in the middle of the dang road, I was a wee bit delusional when I woke up to my dogs cavorting on my face. After the pooch hoe-down ceased, I was able to drag my road weary body to the door to let the doggles out, only to find a serious flat tire, with half the board still clinging to my rig, awaiting me outside. Being that this ain’t a Montana girl’s first flat tire rodeo, I brushed it off. No prob! Change it later. I tried to work a bit on my horse training site, but then I decided to spill a whole latte on Foster Dog and nearly lit myself on fire from a stray robe sleeve in the open flame, I decided going back to bed was the safest option for me. It’s amazing how great working from the bed can be! I can only spill latte on myself, my feet stay warm and there is nothing to light my robe on fire. :)
Subsequently, I feel much better. I had some serious guitar playing therapy, and am now typing this whilst listening to my new guilty pleasure (Who knew John Mayer was such a bitchin’ lyricist?!?) Watch out ether-world! I am officially a blog-ess.